When I was a toddler I had all the energy and curiosity that a normal child should have, but lurking beneath the shadows was a horrible affliction that had yet to surface. According to my mothers own accounts; however, I began to exhibit strange and curious traits by the time I reached the age of six. What started as head twitches, squeaking and sniffing noises, and eye blinking rapidly progressed to even more prominent symptoms by the time I reached the age of seven. My mother, recognizing that this behavior was abnormal by any stretch of the imagination, began to have lengthy discussions with my father regarding such. My father; however, was not as perceptive or understanding as her, and he frequently denied that anything was wrong with me. In no time at all he began to discipline and physically abuse me for what he considered to be a behavioral issue, and frequently sent me to my bedroom without supper in attempts to disguise my actions from guests that he very often would entertain. I have vivid memories of lying on the floor in my bedroom, often peeking under the door in attempts to hear the adult conversations that were eminating from the living room. As hard as I would try to be silent; however, I would commence with various uncontrollable vocalizations, and upon my father hearing them, he would excuse himself from his company, enter my room, and begin to violently strike me with his belt or any other object that he could quickly grab. After what seemed like hours of abuse he would tell me to "shut up", and would leave me lying there crying and wondering to myself why I couldn't be silent. I remember often wondering why I couldn't be quiet, especially considering the consequences of not doing so, and a viscous cycle would always ensue of me producing noises followed by beatings, followed by noises and so on. Things would never change between my father and I, and in short order, my mother began taking me to every health care professional she could think of. I can remember seeing psychologists, psychiatrists, family practitioners and therapists, but the end result was always the same. I was told on so many occasions that I had a behavioral problem, or my tics were nervous habits, or I was seeking attention, that I began to wonder if maybe I really could control my symptoms but hadn't figured out how to just yet. These doctor visits would continue until I was approximately twelve years of age, but by this time I was suffering severe psychological and emotional problems from my manifestations, my fathers abuse, and mounting peer pressure from my friends and classmates due to my peculiar actions. Rather than being a confident and happy twelve year old as I should have been, I was distraught and wondering why this was happening to me.
When I turned thirteen my mother and father divorced, and within a couple of months she scheduled an appointment with a Neurologist, and the results of that visit would change my life from that point forward. On that day I was informed that there was an explanation for my behavior, and it was called Tourette Syndrome. I was immediately flooded with emotions ranging from happiness, to relief, to anger. I now had a "name" for my condition, but this could do little to erase the anguish and emotional distress I had suffered since my early youth. To this day I believe there are "emotional scars" related to the length of time between symptoms developing and diagnosis, but this was due to no fault of my mothers, rather ignorance in the medical community. Fortunately for the youth of today there is much more known about TS, and an early diagnosis is possible if parents recognize their childs bevavior as being abnormal. I still to this day; however, hear stories from parents whose child obviously has Tourette's, but has yet to have been diagnosed. They justify their childs symptoms as habits or bad behavior, and frequently punish them for this activity. I must reiterate; however, that there are no nervous habits only tics, and tics with vocalizations are conclusive for a definitive diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome. If you have a child or know a parent whose child exhibits behaviors previously described, please make sure they are taken to a physician as soon as sympoms are first noticed so a definitive diagnosis can me made. Failure to do so can not only disrupt a childs normal development, but also leave them with emotional issues that can last a lifetime. Ensuring this is done; however, can allow a child to overcome all the adversities that go hand in hand with TS. I don't want what occurred to me to ever happen to another child again. Please be your childs advocate for his/her sake.
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